


Fun with Dating Apps

by Drenosa



Series: Just some Farah stuff [2]
Category: The Wayhaven Chronicles (Interactive Fiction)
Genre: F/M, Gen, It's all very scientific I swear, Rate the Vamps, Technological Shenanigans, The Hotness that is Team Bravo, dating apps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:34:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drenosa/pseuds/Drenosa
Summary: It's not often that Team Bravo and the Detective have absolutely nothing on their plates. Farah got bored and started messing about with dating apps. The Detective, equally bored, decided to put a slightly more 'professional' spin on it. Now the rest of the team has to be subjected to results of the pair's 'research'.
Relationships: Detective/Farah Hauville, Male Detective/Farah Hauville
Series: Just some Farah stuff [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1807123
Kudos: 9





	Fun with Dating Apps

"Okay Farah, we got your... emergency message. Are you finally going to tell us what you've been doing these past two days?" Nate asked as he looked down at the pair sitting on the plush carpet of the common room floor. He, as well as Ava and Mason, had received their youngest compatriot's excited message only a short while before, and was most curious as to why Farah had sent the message. Not to mention the fact that she had sent it via the emergency number, rather than the general ones they all had. Ava was trying very hard not to grind her molars to dust at that kind of misuse, whilst Mason was just looking his usual broody self. Nevertheless, Nate did like to know what Farah and Toren had been up to these past few days. Even if he was slighly apprehensive to the amount of technological goodies and gizmos that were currently spread about the space.  
Down on the aformentioned floor before them, Farah and Toren had surrounded themselves with at least half a dozen smartphones, three laptops, an assortment of remotes, a obviously well-used camera and a lot of paper with prints and scribbles. Toren sat with his back against the couch his legs in a wide tailors seat. Farah had positioned herself snuggly in the gap between his legs and was leaning into his chest. Toren had wrapped one of his long arms around her in a soft but determined embrace, his head resting lightly on top of hers. As Nate regarded that setup, he couldn't help but admire that feeling of comfort that was glowing of the two. However he did note that Toren looked like hadn't slept properly for at least two days. Even Farah looked like she had been up longer than her usual stints.

Lack of enough sleep aside, Farah positively beamed at the standing trio, not getting up from her 'confinement'. "Well Natey, we are just proud to present to you the results of our very extensive research." With wide movements and a flourish she indicated the mess around them. Ava, to say the least, was sceptical about the whole thing, not forgetting the misuse of their emergency contact number.  
"Do tell, what topic of the 'research' could be so engrossing that it managed to keep you occupied so intently? Ava all but grumbled through gritted teeth. "Not only that, why can't you two apply this kind of energy into our **actual** work?"  
The pair didn't give any real answer to that second question besides a synchronized shrug, instead Toren piped up. "In any case, all of you should take a seat and direct your attention towards the TV." He said as he turned it on, after which he starts tapping away at one the laptops. "I'll have everything set up in a moment."  
The standing trio shared a few glances with one another before Mason gave a grumbling sigh, and went to take up a position on an armrest of the couch Farah and Toren were sprawled in front of. Nate sat down on the same couch after he pushed aside one of the laptops and a stack of paper. Ava took the longest. She stood with her arms crossed, wondering why her teammates were indulging the couples' request, before giving up and taking a seat on of the highbacked armchairs.  
Farah gave a small victorious grin and clapped her hands once. "Right! So this little diversion had actually started about a month back. As is want to happen, I got a bit bored one afternoon and started scrolling newsfeeds and the like. You know, as you do."  
"Very much as **you** do, yeah." Mason growled, humor lacing the words more like poison than one would generally expect.  
"Indeed, my freckly friend!" Farah quipped without missing a beat. "So about an hour into that, I came across a few things regarding dating apps. One thing let to another, and before I knew it Toren and I had set up dating profiles for all five of us to see what would bite!"  
The incredulous silence that followed was almost palpable. Broken only by deep sighing groan coming from Ava. Nate looked mostly confused, glancing a silent question at Mason who could only roll his eyes. All the while Toren finished up typing away. A resolute final tap and a flick of the remote and the black TV screen was swapped out for a screen filling slide.

_Mucking about with 'love'  
or  
What happens when Farah gets bored and discovers Dating Apps_

_By Farah Hauville and Toren Mossberg_

The slide was rather gaudy. Filled with red and pink hearts and pastel shapes. Farah didn't miss a beat, and spoke up without the others a chance to intervene with demands or question. "One month ago, the two of us set up profiles for each and everyone currently in this room. These profiles were made across a multitude of platforms with a wide net tailored to the best of our knowledge regarding your individual personalities. A click from Toren's remote and new slide appeared.

_'Participants'  
Toren Mossberg  
Farah Hauville  
Mason  
Nathaniel Sewell  
& Special Guest:_

_Ava Du Mortain!_

This slide too was covered with the pinks and pastels and Ava's name was given a very prominent spot in it all. Everyone also had their eyes on her, seeing her barely constrained attempts to hold back any scathing comments. Through gritting teeth and an almost noticable twitch of an eyebrow did she manage to speak, supressed emotions coating her voice. "Do... go on, Hauville. Detective."  
Which Farah did, with quite the triumphant grin on her face. "We though it only fair that Toren and I would go first. Just so we could ease you lot into this." Toren looking amused, clicked forward to the next slide.

_Toren Mossberg 28_  
_Number of positive hits:_  
_103_

The slide was mostly occupied by several photo's of Toren himself, with cherry-picked comments dotted about as well. They all showed him in various poses, wearing his most common get-up of a dark letterman jacket with a small WH printed on it near the clavicle, light blue denim jeans and his heavy Red Brick shoes. One of them also showed him at work as a detective, badge visible at his hip, thwacking an unsuspecting Douglas on the head with a casefile. This also showed of his incredible height and well-rounded physique. The size difference very much enhanced whilst standing next to the scrawny kid. With a tanned skin, short auburn hair and his soft blue eyes, it wouldn't be hard to mistake his age for something lower than it actually was. More so if he kept up his habit of shaving.  
After giving the group to soak up the visuals Farah continued. "Notables about the results we found for Toren include the following: 77 women, 20 men and rest specified otherwise. The majority of them were within an age range of only a few years above or below his own. However, all of the male and other hits have come from folk younger than him. Almost all of the women have made it very obvious they wanted to get him out of his tall jeans for his tall 6'10" genes."  
"Quite thirsty, the lot of them. Can't say I blame them, handsome." Mason remarked, to which Toren only gave a small smirk and a wiggle of his eyebrows. However, it wasn't hard for any of the vampires to notice that Toren's ears had gained an ever so slight red tint to the them.  
Farah gave another beaming smile, sweet victory just shy of being literally spelled out on her face. "Too bad for them, for he's already mine." Then with a change of facial expression as she remembered something she added. "Oh and the low number of men is also due to his height. One comment that was left behind by one particularly disgruntled prospect claimed that the size difference was 'emasculating', whatever that's supposed to mean."  
Behind them, Nate quickly stopped any crass remarks Mason was about to utter. Mason did stop, but going by his wolfish grin it was obvious he was going to save his remark for another time.  
Another click and another slide.

_Farah Hauville 25_  
_Number of positive hits:  
158_

From the get-go it was clear that Farah spent **a lot** of time on getting the right pictures for her slide. They showed of her curls in all their splendour and the deep colour of her skin contrasting beautifully with the bright nature of her wardrobe. All of them showed her laughing heartily or smiling that bright smile of hers. All of them showed that mostly cheeky side of her with hints of mischief to be found if one looked hard enough. Farah had set up the pictures to show herself as the raucous and lively center of any party she would inevitably find herself in and that others would inevitably want to join in on.  
Though, before Farah could open her mouth and give herself an ego boosting speech, Toren had (perhaps wisely so) placed a hand over her mouth, electing to speak in her stead. "What we received here was a fairly even distribution between men and women. 72 men, 75 women and the rest who used different identifiers. Almost all of them were either one or two years older or younger then age we filled in. The few outliers were either overconfident teens shooting their shot or guys almost twice her age or over. The older ones could generally be described as either 'sugardaddies' or 'potential serial killers'."  
Feeling that she had her voice silenced long enough, Farah removed to Toren's hand from her face. "I'll give some of the kiddo's credit though, some of them look like they could land some good prospects in a year or so. You know, after a bath or two." She wriggled her nose when she thought back to some of the pictures she got presented. "Bit to crusty for anyone's tastes, I'd think."  
A few light chuckles went around the room at that. Toren quickly sobered a bit though, feeling the need to share something. "Wasn't all sunshine and rainbows though. Some of the stuff we had to through out was... less than civil. To say the least. All 'superior this' and 'master of that'. It was galling to say the least." Toren's grin that followed could also be considered less than civil. "Did make sure a few those assholes would have a few nasty digital surprises waiting for them. Not that hard considering the intelligence levels I had to work with."  
Farah spoke up, clearly wanting to get back to the fun. "Speaking of sunshine and rainbows! Next slide, please."  
The remote clicked again and another face got plastered across the screen.

_Mason Lýkos 31_  
_Number of positive hits:_  
_187_

Mason was portayed in his usual demeanour. Meaning he looked like he was on the prowl. With his sharp features, slightly hunched back and a ready stance in his feat he looked every bit the hunter he was. Most of the pictures were also clearly made without his knowing, as they looked less guarded than one would normally expect. Unlike Farah's and Toren's pictures, which showed an even mix of indoor and outdoor shots, Mason was almost exclusively shown in outdoor settings. It all served well in highlighting his nature. At least one of the pictures did a very good job at showing of his freckles, giving a very tantilizing idea to make people wonder 'how far do those freckles go?'.  
"So we've had quite a bit of fun going over Mason's prospects here. The results definitely surprised Toren and I." Farah begins. "They were very... uhm... what's the word you used?" She had twisted herself around to look up at Toren.  
"Homogenous. Wasn't really that much variety in what kind of person took the bait." The two threw meaningful look at Mason, who was getting a bit annoyed at the pair.  
"So? Out with it! I don't actually have all day, you know." He almost barked, but it wasn't hard for the rest to notice that there wasn't much bite behind the words. This time anyways.  
The pair on the floor let out a laugh and Toren gave the info. "Of the people that responded 155(!) were women, 26 were men with the rest as otherwise identifying." Farah then continued the exposition.  
"Of those 155 lovely ladies, the vast majority was in the range of late 30's to mid 40's. And If the poorly concealed wedding bands are anything to go on, then I can assure you that almost all of them are lying about their marital status."  
"These ladies think they can handle the big bad wolf!" Toren finished. "Like a mistress that tames the wild spirit of the woods. Like in those raunchy romance novels written almost exclusively for these women."  
Mason held an impressively neutral face for what seemed for forever before giving a sufficiently sultry smile. "Those ladies do tend to be pretty fun. Think themselves so much more experienced. Until I'm through with them anyway." The rumbling chuckle that followed was about as far removed from chaste as one could get. The couple on the floor laughed, the rest just closed their eyes in exasperation and weariness.  
Once more, a click and another face on screen.

_Nate Sewell 36_  
_Number of positive hits:_  
_247_

Nate made for quite the contrast with Mason. Where Mason had looked wild, Nate looked distinguished. Where one looked at ease in nature, the other was one with the indoors. Nate's pictures however were far less candid then Mason's were and it was obvious that he liked to have a picture or two taken of him.  
"Oh." Nate remarked. "I recognize a few of those. That one on the left was from last year." The one indicated was probably the most 'Nate-like' of them all. It was taken at his library whilst he was reading something that was at least a century old. It showed him seated, one leg crossed over the other. His jacket was carefully draped over the back of his ostentatious armchair and the light from the upper windows made for a frankly very impressive ambient back lighting. The aformentioned tome was held in one hand, whilst the other held a fresh, still steaming brew. Nate had just noticed Toren approaching him with a camera in hand and one of his eyebrows was raised in an inquisitive manner. The whole ensemble was very inviting and open, something that people could get lost in without fear or regret.  
"Natey provided us with quite the wide range of candidates. 109 Women, 111 Men and the rest regarding themselves in another way. Age range was between 10 years younger or 6 years older than we what we decided on as 'accurate' for him. All of them gave a comment of some kind regarding the calmness that seemed to wash over them when they saw you. Beside the fact that they were all quite attracted to the air of intelligence and sophistication. Most of them at just dropped the pretense and flat out said that they wanted to strip you layer by layer. They **r** **eally** wish they could ravish you, Mister Librarian." Farah's eyes were practically gleaming by the end of it, staring straight at Nate. Nate was taken quite aback by the bluntness of that.  
"Is... is that really how people look at me?" Nate's question was received by mostly blank stares. Even Ava had an eyebrow raised, as if the answer was indeed that obvious. Toren gave a chuckle as he finally answered.  
"Yes, very much so. Nate, I'm not sure if you've really looked at yourself in a mirror recently, but you could be like 'the world's next top supermodel' if you walked into any modelling agency worth their salt." He then held up a hand, lowering a finger as he listed one point after another. "One. You're an excellent kind of tall. A catwalk would almost drool at the prospect of you striding across it. Two. You've got the body of an adonis. That abdomen is just criminal, you are not allowed to deny that. Three. Perfect. Skin. Seriously, what the hell. Four. Your face would distract a driver better than any other pair of tits on a billboard ever could. Need I or Farah elaborate further?" Toren finished with a pointed stare at Nate, who had managed to take the compliments with his usual good graces, holding his hands up placatingly as he said so.  
"No... no, I get the point. I'll just be glad with the attention, I guess."  
"Damn skippy, Natey. Now! With out further messing about. The moment some of us definitely haven't been waiting for! Our final Guest!" Farah flourished her arms, redirecting everyones attention back towards the TV.  
With a flourish of his own, Toren switched the slide over with a simple press of a button.

_Ava Du Mortain 34  
Number of positive hits:  
485!!!!_

The resulting silence that followed was almost as palpable as the one at the start the whole thing. Ava had her head on one of her hands, elbow leaning heavily on the armrest. Her other hand was gripping hard into the leather of the other armrest, bringing about future worries of broken furniture.  
The pictures themselves were stunning though. Not surprising but each and every picture had a very clear focus on Ava's imposing physique. Her strong arms and wide shoulders either covered by her leather coat or straining against her plain shirt were clear as day for everyone. But what was surprising was that it didn't feel like that single thing was the one defining thing about her. The pictures were taken all around Wayhaven showing her both 'on-duty' and what could probably interpreted as 'off-duty'. She always looked like she was in her element, a proud and capable protector in one shot, a caring and reliable friend in another, but always ready to go at it at a moment notice.  
Farah had even managed to snap a very rare event. Somewhat hidden in a lower corner and smaller than the rest was Ava, crouching down on one knee, gently touching one the many cats that like to lazily stroll around the streets during the day. Both Ava and the little tabby looked very content in the moment. A gentle, genuine smile, showing one of her dimples.  
Toren carefully broke the silence. After what had felt like minutes, everyones attention was snapped back to reality. "Surprise but not really a surprise, our dour Commander proved to be quite popular with the masses. 196 women, 267 men and the rest specifying something else have giving reactions ranging from simple admiration to professions of eternal love. There were also the really not unexpected messages of 'thank you for your service' and quite a lot comparisons to Warrior Princesses of popular lore and fiction. People are very much drawn to you Ava, whether you like it or not."  
A few beats passed as Toren thought about wheter or not to say the following, before decidely pressing on. Face grim but satisfied. "Besides all the wishful thinking of being whisked away in your mighty arms, though. There were a few individuals who were similarly unsavory, like with Farah. Propping you up like a 'perfect example of true humanity' and bringing pseudo-science bullshit into the mix. Suffice to say that they've received as similar and very much untracable data-package. They can expect a few interesting items, bills and people coming their way soon."  
The group had watched Ava slowly relax just a bit. Enough that the armchair didn't have to worry about physical harm. Although if such a thing was possible, it would probably visit a therapist for the emotional duress it suffered. Visions of a chair in a therapy lounge passed through the minds of certain members of the group, the affected trouble couple just about managing to keep a grin of their faces.  
Funny visions aside, Ava still looked like a migraine was about to take hold of her, compounded by the deep exhausted sigh that escaped her lungs. "This... this is what the two have been spending your free-time on: a frivolous testament to the shallowness of human attraction?" The question was asked through a furrowed brow and massaged temples.  
Farah simply answered with an amused shrug before adding, "Well, for once I didn't actually have to finish up a back-log of stuffy reports and I also didn't have to go on any patrols. So I just cashed in some of that PTO that's supposed to exist in any workforce that cares for it's employees."  
"Wayhaven was finally back down to pre-supernatural excitement level of 'nothing ever happens in Wayhaven'." Toren also answered. "Any cases that happened during my time away would just boil down to a broken window or a pet that stayed out past it's curfew. Things that I don't even have to read to just put a stamp of [Case Closed] on to be filed away for eternity. Tina would've called by now if something really bad had happened anyway."

Silence returned for a good minute. Nate decided it was a good a time as any to make a more personal inquiry to the floor couple. "Did either of you get any proper rest these past few days? Especially you Toren, you look like slept maybe a few hours in the past fourty-eight."  
Toren seemed to think about that for a moment, trying to retrace the steps of these past two days. "We started skimming through all of the gathered data yesterday late in the morning, getting more excited as time went by. Nearing the afternoon we... worked out some of that excitement, before returning here and continuing gathering everything."  
"Yeah, it sounded like a work-out alright." Mason growled, a pointed look down towards the couple. A couple that had some extra colour in their cheeks and necks at that remark. Seeing their reaction, Mason bent down closer to them. His grin broadening as he doubled-down on his first remark. "If I were to mention **something** , I'd say there was too much laughing and not enough moaning." Farah promply pulled her wooly hat down over her face, soft groan escaping her lips. Toren hugged her closer as he buried his face into her hat, ears redder than they had been in a while. Neither Ava or Nate was really all that amused as Mason was.  
After an admirably quick recovery and extracting himself out of Farah's hat, Toren continued. "So we collected some more data and and as more and more nasty stuff came through, I had to start setting up programs to filter those out. Before I knew it, night had fallen. So I went to bed, slept **maybe** three or four hours before the excitement woke me up again. Having gotten rather sick of the trash that had still managed to get through, I constructed some 'fun' data-packages to send back to them."  
Farah, who had finally recovered as well, took over. "So whilst Toren was playing hackerman extraordinaire, I had started going through all the pictures we had taken these past two years. You'd be surprised just how many with taken in that time. If printed there would be thick folders for everyone. Next to the pictures, I also picked out a few choice comments to spruce up the presentation with and picked out a few 'lucky' recipients from our 'shit-list' for Toren's surprise delivery."  
"That fun over with, all that was left to do was get you lot over here and set up the presentation." Toren added as a matter of fact. "The use of the emergency number was definitely accidental, though. And it was definitely Farah fau- Oomph!"  
Farah had shoved a not too soft elbow against Toren's liver. As he nursed his grievous wound, she finished up the timeline with a wide grin and a dramatic flourish. "So, yeah that was just about all done from this cozy little spot. We called you here, finished up the presentation in the meantime and in the end you got to experience the fruits of our labor with us. But all said and done, we've got one last little gift. Toren, the phones!"  
Toren, who had recovered from the incapaciting blow to his side had gathered four of the phones strewn about. After a quick check of their integrity and their intended recipients he tossed one each to Ava and Mason. Nate's destined phone he unlocked beforehand, quickly swiping towards a specific goal, before handing it over to him.  
Phones in hand, Farah continued in high spirits. "Each of these phones contains all the apps, programs and websites with used to throw around your profiles. Take your time looking through it. Or don't, no biggie."  
Mason had already started to skulk away to a quiet corner of the warehouse, a slight lopsided grin on his face as he swiped away at his phone. Nate had a decidely less comfortable expression as he tried to work his way through the menus. He made his excuses with a small measure of embarressment has he too made to leave for his neck of the woods. Ava hadn't even glanced at the phone when she caught it. Opting instead to glare at Toren, who managed to deduce the unspoken questions. "Each phone is just as safe as any other Agency gadget you can conjure up. Those surprises I sent out can't be traced back. Not to this location or any person in Wayhaven anyways. The accounts we made, have a gotten a similar treatment. No need to worry about any stalkers anytime soon. Or at all for that matter."  
Ava continued her glaring for a few moments more. Then she sighed deeply once more, her expression softening. "Get some rest, you two. And I mean **real rest** , Toren. Get some actual hours sleep in." A pointed stare emphasized her words. Toren acutally relented at the almost-order. With a single big movement he lifted both himself and Farah of the rug covered floor. They both said their goodbyes, their bodies no longer exhibiting the earlier energy they've kept up for the past few days, and shuffled away to find the first mattress they would come across.

Now alone, Ava took stock of her surroundings, quietly rubbing her forehead as she looked over the mess that was left behind. Before she realized it though, her eyes had wandered to the phone in her hand. Infernal curiosity overwhelmed her. She made a quick check to see if she was really alone, opened the phone and started exploring the menus. If one were to serendipitously find themselves returning to the common room, they'd find a rare oppertunity for a great picture. Ava, somewhat relaxed and holding a small genuine smile.

**Author's Note:**

> Welp... another work completed. I think I got close enough to all the vamps personalities. If not, oh well. Will probably do proper spelling and grammar check some other time, but who know.  
> Hope you enjoyed. Like it if you want to, or not. Up to you.


End file.
